I have gone through my life hoping to never have any regrets. The other day I was reminded of how I wanted to play college softball after I graduated high school and I immediately felt regret. Regret for getting married, regret for honoring my mother, regret for falling in love so young, just regret. I got accepted to NYACK College and was so excited to play for them. I received almost $30,000 in financial aid and scholarships. Sometimes I wish I wouldve stayed instead of getting married but I cant even imagine a life without my husband or my kids. I wonder why life didnt take me through the path I thought was right for me. I have come so far in my life and right now I am still taking strides to being the person I want to be. If I had stayed and not got married I wouldve been graduating to be a teacher and for what! to later on realizing my passion and love for work is in the medical field? Honestly speaking, I wouldve preferred to have had my children when I was more settled into life, had a degree and just knew somewhat where life was going to take me. Things are much harder trying to figure out what im going to do with my life and how I am going to get their with two kids on either hip. I love my babies TO DEATH but I wanted to be more before they were born. I dont regret my kids, just to clear that up. I also wonder if my husband wouldve ended up in the military afterall. His enlistment was one of the hardest times and moments in our relationship and I wonder if we were in college would he have taken that route regardless. I guess im having a case of the “what-ifs” and I think so many people deal with this. It’s perfectly normal to wonder how different your life may have been if you just made one decision differently. I believe God guides us into the paths we should be in whether we like it or not. When it comes to regret, dont regret your journey. You will be where you want to be sooner or later. Things have a way of falling into place. Be content with your life. Go through a moment of the “what-ifs” but then move on. I am moving on tonight! I love my life. I love my husband. I love my boys. I love Rhode Island and California. Im even learning to love the military (that may take a little longer unless we get stationed in Germany or Italy). Love your journey with all the bumps in the road.
“The grass isnt always greener on the other side, its greener where YOU water it”