As I lay in bed thinking about how fast my son has turned one and how soon my second son will be born, I can’t help but to question my capabilities as a mother. Would I screw these kids up? Will I/am I raising them right? Will they love me the way I love them? Then sometimes I have other questions like what kind of teenager and adult will they be? Am I raising a serial killer or a president? A musician or an actor? I know it may sound absurd but these are the things I wonder about. I’ve been a mom for a year now and I have gone through moments where I’ve felt like “this is it. I can’t do this” (mostly while my husband was away.) And I’ve gone through moments where I’ve thought “this is a breeze”. What makes me feel and know that I am capable of being a mother to two boys is the extent in which I know I would go for them. The love a mother has for her boys is so indescribable. What makes me feel like I can do this mother thing is when he cries and I successfully soothe him. When I change a filthy diaper and he smiles. When I give him a room temperature bottle and I see his belly is full. When I give him a bath and he splashes his legs in the water as his way of fun. When I rub him with lotion and rock him to sleep. And when he sleeps dead weight in my arms I know he’s comfortable with me. These are the moments that remind me why I am capable of being a mother. The days are long but the years are fast. I know I can do this! So yes, motherhood will feel right but the questions will never stop. My son has been my joy, my rock, my savior from a thing called defeat. Motherhood is not easy or “a breeze”. Every day is a challenge but it is all definitely worth it.